Ipsy: December 2013

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

With Christmas parties on the horizon, this month was all about celebrating and looking good while downing the eggnog. With such excitement on the way, what could go wrong...? Onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards.

POP Beauty Bright Up Your Life Eye Shadow Trio- Naturally Bare: I was pleasantly surprised with this shadow, considering how the Pop Beauty crayon was an ultra bust. The colors are full of shimmer and they easily layer upon each other. You can create a natural eye or sultry dimensions...depending on your skill, of course. Well done POP Beauty.

Reason to Bitch

• "This was made in China and I simply refuse to use it."
• "Woah...there is just way too much glitter in these shadows for my style. No thanks."

Be a Bombshell The One Stick: Sunset- Be a Bombshell is an excellent brand that continues to impress. Multi-tasking beauty products are becoming increasingly popular and "The One Stick" doesn't disappoint. The color, texture and overall feel of the product is fantastic. This product has officially been added to my work bag. A+

Reasons to Bitch

• "The color is so horrendous on me that I am telling all of my friends to cancel."
• "Enough with the 'Be a Bombshell' cosmetics. They are just too awesome and I want to ruin everyone else's fun.

Ardell Natural Lash: I want to love lashes, I really do...but I feel like a drag queen in them. Not to be confused with the gorgeous RuPaul. I like the natural look of these and how the glue was included.

Reasons to Bitch

• "One of the fake lashes got underneath my contact and now I'm blind."
• "I accidently glued my eyes shut while trying to apply these. Shame."

J.Cat Beauty Big Lip Pencil: Caramel Mocha- Creamy, pigmented and overall impressive lip product. This pencil is travel-worthy and great for any last minute parties.

Reasons to Bitch

• "How many times do I have to tell you that I HATE red lipsticks!"
• "J.Cat isn't very well know and therefore, not for me."

Starrily Nail Polish: Bzz Bzz- Nothing screams Christmas like a black and yellow sparkle polish. No? I'm wrong? I put this on my nails and attempted to like it, but it's just not my style. Wah.

Reasons to Bitch

• "U.G.L.Y you don't got no alibi, you're ugly. Yeah, yeah, you're ugly."
• "Sparkly polish doesn't apply very well for me!"

Overall, this month didn't astound me, but I am still very happy. Honorable mention to this months bag, itself; as it was phenomenal. Happy holidays an keep on bitching.

Grade: B

Ipsy: November 2013

Sweet Photo skills of Jzim

If I were publicly posting "things I'm thankful for" on social media for this month, I would be thankful for Ipsy. This month was by far the absolute greatest; but yes it's still your $10 and you can bitch if you want to. I'm aware. We're all aware. Onto the review:

 For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards.

Em Michelle Phan: Pillow Plush Cushiony Lip Balm: Berries- Amazing. Achieving the perfect "wine-stained" lip without looking like a lame attempt at the gothic lifestyle is not an easy task. Michelle Phan finally put out the perfect balm in the greatest of all colors.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I didn't get the color I wanted! WAH!"
• "I don't like how I have to get my whittle finger all messy to apply this."

Be a Bombshell: Lip Crayon: Hot Damn- Who doesn't love a bright red lipstick? I'll tell you who: Twats. Twats don't love bright red lipsticks, but whores do. I can't get enough of this. I kind of wish I still was into the party scene because this Lip Crayon is killer.

Reasons to Bitch

• "RED! I'm not a harlot! Why do you keep sending me this timeless, classic color?"
• "I don't wear lipstick and I'm too greedy to give this or trade it away."

Nailtini: Straight Up Color Nail Laquer: Champagne- Ipsy loves Nailtini. We get it every other month. Luckily, this month we were sent a classy, low-key color. The consistency and overall application is pretty high. I might just look forward to our next Nailtini in 'January.'

Reasons to Bitch

• "I have yet to learn my fine motor skills and apply polish like a toddler."
• "I don't classify polish as 'makeup' and I except more for my $10."

TRESemme TRES Two Extra Hold Hairspray- I changed up my profile specifically to get the hairspray. If this were the 80s, I'd have the huge can in my fanny-pack. Although this isn't a lux product, it's still a great spray and an affordable one at that.  

Reasons to Bitch

• "Oh Em Gee. I got this and I'm an irate 'Ipster.' I'll just spam the Ipsy FB page to let the community know of my distaste...repeatedly."
• "I would never use a drug store hair product, because I'm a snooty cow-bag."

Pixie Beauty: Bronzer: Subtly Suntouched- Pixie is a top-runner in my cosmetic line of favorites. Unfortunately, this bronzer is only on the average side. It's fair, but the pigmentation is only so-so.

Reasons to Bitch

• "Why were we sent a bronzer in November? My small brain doesn't comprehend-o."
• "I already have a 'healthy glow' of radiation from the tanning salon. No thank you, Pixie."

Starlooks Gem Eye Pencil: Topaz- Metallic eye-liners need to make a serious comeback, because this color is insane. I love it, but it's not a "quick trip to Wal-Mart color." As far as pigmentation and application, this pencil doesn't disappoint.

Reasons to Bitch

• I'm a sassy, outspoken curmudgeon and will neverrrrr wear this color to the office."
• "I only use mechanical liners and cannot be bothered with the 2-second sharpening process."

Overall, Ipsy killed it. However, they kind of set themselves up for December, because everyone has unrealistically high expectations. This now will become the "month to beat," and I'll be impressed if they can.

Grade: A+