Blush Mystery Beauty Box: January 2014

Sweet Photo Skills by Jzim

Blush Mystery Beauty box has arrived and it strangely seems as if it was curated by someone on crack... Onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards.

LeEdge Skin Exfoliator- After a stressful day, I like to unwind by dragging a dull blade across my body to relax. Thankfully LeEdge has come to the rescue. Really, what is that? Scrapping off dead skin with a dull blade? Was this needed? Am I that scaly? I slid this down my arm without being in the shower and that was painful. I then gave it a try in the shower and that just felt like an extremely ineffective shave. Overall, my skin felt...violated.

Reasons to Bitch

• "This is on-sale on Amazon and for me, that devalues the entire content of the box."
• "LeEdge increases suicidal ideation and that's a big no-no."

Jane Iredale: Just Kissed Lip Plumber: Tokyo- Slightly tingly, pleasantly colored, strawberry scented lipstick, this would be a phenomenal find if it was full-sized. The color goes on much lighter than it looks and it doesn't dry out your lips.

Reasons to Bitch

• "This lipstick is rounded at the tip and it doesn't shape by lips like it should."
• "The sample was too small considering it was the ONLY makeup product in the box."

Osmosis Skincare Harmonized Water Digestive Health- I would like to believe in gimmicks like quick-fix products...but this one yields zero results, negative or positive. The 'trick,' if you will, is to add 2ml to a glass of water and drink twice daily. Then over time your skin will improve and so will your insides. After we decode the bullshit, it is easy to see that you just added extra glasses of water to your diet. Water improves skin and overall health...not a $30 bottle of "Harmonized Water."

Reasons to Bitch

• "This isn't something that should even be included in a beauty box. It's a dietary aide."
• "You can keep your voodoo away from me. There's only one water that can cleanse me."

Goldfaden Md: Wake Up Call- I am neither pleased, nor displeased with this product. It's a facial rejuvenator that I'm hesitant to try due to the harsh wintery conditions. There aren't many reviews on this product and with such sensitive skin, I'm not looking to experiment at this time.

Reasons to Bitch

• "What an expensive price-tag for a full size bottle. OMG, no thanks."
• "I already have an extensive skin-care routine and I'm not about to introduce a new product."

Klorane Leave-In Cream with Desert Date- The spicy scent reminds me of the cologne that my creepy study-hall teacher wore when he would stand over me and uncomfortably rub my shoulders. Other than awakening that re-pressed memory, Klorane Leave-In Cream leaves me feeling incredible. My hair is smooth, manageable and light. Trip to the guidance counselor, not needed. A+

Reasons to Bitch

• "Leave-In creams leave my hair greasy and my heart, sad."
• "I really want the hair mask that some others received. This is so my luck."

Gytone Hydrating Eye Cream- Scentless and slightly tingly this Hydrating Eye Cream has me hooked. Sleepless nights are quickly concealed with this hydrating formula.

[Edit 2/20/2014] I like this product very much, but I'm allergic to it. If I only put it under my eye, no reaction...near my brow bone, well...let's just not go there.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I accidently got this in my eyes and the burning pain was unbelievable."
• "I don't use eye-creams, because I'm a Botox type of gal."

Overall, there were some hidden gems in this box...but it certainly could have used some improvement.

Grade: E for Effort. Sometimes, creativity just isn't appreciated.

Blush Mystery Beauty Box: December 2013

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim
 

After last's months box of "things to not-be-thankful-for ," anything was welcomed for the month of December. Everyone has unrealistically high hopes for every month, but December is usually the "make it or break it month" for subs. Onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards.

NYX Love In Paris Palette: I have never been impressed with any other NYX product, except for their eye shadow. The formula is exquisite and the colors are highly pigmented. I use these shadows mostly for work, because they last all day and the colors are professional. I am very pleased with this versatile and sexy palette.

Reasons to Bitch

• "FML, another NYX product. I'm too pretentious to realize exactly how great this shadow is."
• "Shadow doesn't last all day on my eyes; because I've never heard of shadow primer and then blame the makeup companies for not delivering."

Nailtiques Avocado Foot Cream: Another foot cream, because I ran out of the last two large tubes of cream that I was sent. Psych, I still have plenty. Even though I wasn't in need, I'm very happy with the effectiveness of the product. The scent is lackluster, but the cream is ultra-hydrating. A total win.

Reasons to Bitch

• "This is the third foot cream in four months...and that's just not enough for me."
• "Most nail spas have mint-infused foot cream and apparently Nailtiques didn't know of this."

Sultra Clip in Hair Color- Ultra Pink: The total star of the box for me was this strikingly-colored, human-hair extension. I wish I had this in every color, as this product was made for me. I enjoy how easy it is to clip-in, style and reuse. A+

Reasons to Bitch

• "Made out of real human-hair? Color me offended."
• "I live a boring, sad life. I will never have any functions that require a wild streak from me."

NEOVA Make Up Remover Face and Eyes: Scentless, non-greasy makeup remover that doesn't burn your eyes, how amazing? Make Up Remover is a staple for any beauty guru, especially if you can't nail that smolder-y cat-eye that everyone else seemingly can do.

Reasons to Bitch

• "This isn't make-up and I'm one of those people that complain about this...every month."
• "I still haven't even finished my first bottle, so why do I need this?"

Murad Active Radiance Serum: Murad is such a great skin-care line. I have yet to be disappointed with them. I mean, Murad keeps me beautiful. That should be their tagline, but they forgot to consult with me when launching their company.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I only use Pro-active...so suck on that Murad."
•  "This did not make me look "radiant" as suggested. Nasty letters to follow."

REN Hydra-Calm Global Protection Day Cream: I don't love moisturizers, but this winter is destroying my skin. I was happy to receive this and found it to be hydrating, calming and effective.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I wanted to use this as a night cream, but I'm rule follower."
• "I have offensively oily skin, so thanks for nothing Blush Box."

Eminence Stone Crop Body Lotion: Such a small sample jar makes me a sad panda. This lotion smells and feels incredible, so yes...the tiniest of all jars will do just fine. Wah.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I'm a little bit bigger than a toddler and there isn't even enough lotion for one whole body application."
• "This lotion has a greenish tint to it and that makes me think that it's old or possible molded."

NEOSTRATA Skin Active Exfoliating Wash: This wash is neither good nor bad. It's fine, but with all of the well known exfoliating washes already, switching up is not going to happen anytime soon.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I'm a plain-Jane kind of gal and these fancy washes can take a hike."
• "Exfoliating washes burn my skin and I'm pretty sure that's not what it's supposed to do."

Lisa Hoffman Beauty Japanese Madagascar Orchid Moisturizing Body Cleanse: The product of the box scores a mere 4 out of 10. The scent is outstanding...for an old lady. The consistency is perfect...for a soup. The cleansing effect isn't much better than a scummer bath, anddddd the packaging was gorgeous, said the blind person. Too much?

Reasons to Bitch

• "I'm allergic to perfumed bath products, so this was a waste."
• "I wanted the alternative scent, but now I smell like an old gal."

Overall, this box was so much better than November's epic fail. I'm a bit miffed that their wasn't even a hint of a holiday theme, but I digress.

Rating: B+

Blush Mystery Beauty Box: October 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

Welcome home, Blush Mystery Beauty Box. I've been expecting you. 

Chella Skin Care Highlighter Pencil: Ivory Lace- I previously had to prostitute myself out on the Ipsy Facebook page, begging to trade for this. Hilariously, a month later Blush sends them out to everyone. I'm not going to lie...I didn't mind the prostitution. We were all winners. This highlighter is genius. It works for everything, especially for those less than sexy dark circles. If you don't know what to do with this godsend, do yourself a favor and search for some "how-to" videos.

Butter London Nail Laquer Vernis: Kerfuffle- It was so nice to receive a quality nail polish in a respectable color. Don't get me wrong, I love the crazy, wildness of beauty, but for some reason my profile is always matched to "Dramatic hooker, seeking attention," and I get all the "bolds and patterned." Finding a light pink polish that actually covers the nail isn't an easy task. This polish has fortunately ended my relentless search to do so. Win.

Karin Herzog Vita-A-Kombi- "A nutritious daily moisturizer with a slew of anti-aging benefits." Slew? Not multitude, plethora or exuberant...?" Again, it's no secret that I don't love moisturizers. I'll probably pop a Benadryl and smear this slewage on later.

Mirabella Mineral Highlighting Power: Glowing Coral- Who doesn't own a $38 highlighting powder? Not me, I'm part of the cool crowd. Mirabella, excluding the generic looking logo and lame color scheme, is quickly becoming a cosmetic favorite of mine. The design team seems to be dated...or perpetually stoned, but I digress. This product offers the perfect amount of shimmer and shine. It quickly amps up your look and is your official invite to the "cool kids table at lunch."

Myface Cosemetics Lip Pop Gloss: Sweetest Thing- If I was an objectum-sexual...I'd marry lip-gloss. The website divides the cosmetics into "fair, medium and dark," shade complexions. If you have NO idea what colors look good on you and feel that a $15 lip gloss is perfect for you, then I guess this is a cool concept. Maybe 1 person in the world found this helpful. The gloss is scentless and the brush itself isn't of high quality. As for color, quite nice and easily transitions from day to play.

[Edit: 1/23/2014] I have used this gloss nearly everyday. I can't get enough of it. After months, of repetitive use, I have to admit that I'm in love. My heart is breaking that I'm almost out.

Theraples Ft Exfoliating Emollient- "Penetrating moisture...now with peppermint" reads the tube. Weird. Was I just sent oral-sex gel? This isn't a lotion by any means (or sex-gel); it's a slightly greasy, mint-scented, foot lubricant, referred to as an "emollient." This works in a strange kind of way, but it has a distinctive retirement home smell. This can't even really be given as a gift...ex, "Here's this odd smelling foot lube that you've never heard of! Merry Christmas!" See, it just doesn't work.

Talika Lipocils Expert- My lashes are so short that I'll take any help that I can get. I'm stuck in a persistent conundrum, short natural lashes or drag-queen looking falsies. I'll pray to the lash-goddess for additional help. This product can't be reviewed with one application. Patience is a virtue, bitch.

Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20: Medium- Considering the "slew" of purposes that the product offers, as long as an allergic reaction doesn't occur, I'll call it a win. The shade is decent and seemingly works well as a primer. Big thrills..nooo.

In conclusion to my charm and wit, for me, this box is better than last months. Half of the box was out-of-this-world stellar and the lesser items were just, "eh."

Overall: B+





 

Blush Mystery Beauty Box: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim


Blush Mystery Beauty Box came and I was so excited, but then I turned into an extreme Negative Nancy. Luckily, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pop Beauty Pouty Pop Crayon: Fuchsia Flirt- WAH! I tried to like this crayon, just like I tried to like the scent of Vanilla, and I simply cannot do it. Ipsy sent a Pop Beauty Coral Crayon my way months prior and it was just as bad. The application is weak and it does not cover at all. Out of all the lip crayons in the world, this one does not work well. I think a Crayola crayon would cover better.

Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging Dry Shampoo: I believe in this wild idea of actually washing my hair but, when I do use a Dry Shampoo, it just reminds me that I'm still dirty. All bitching aside, I really do like the Alterna brand and have always been impressed. This is a powdered dry shampoo which makes application a bit more of a challenge. Just go shower.

LVX Nail Laquer- Nail polishes are fun, but I find it hard to beat O.P.I. The laquer was thinner than most nail colors and it immediately stained the areas around my cuticles. After the initial application, drying time was average and the color was stellar. As for chipping, sadly 1 day is all it took. Wah, again. 

Amlactin Triple Action Alpha-Hydroxy Therapy Foot Cream- Scentless foot cream. Isn't the whole appeal to a foot cream the scent? The information card said that the cream "Sloughs off dead skin cells as it soothes and smoothes severely dry and calloused feet." Hungry? For this little write-up alone, Wah, AGAIN.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel- I needed a new brow gelllllll! At first I didn't think the product was effective so I coated on several layers. Don't do this, it works fine with one application. With several coats, my eyebrow were that of a Ken Doll.

Racinne Deluxe Travel Set- I was pissed when I received this. Like legit pissed! A whole collection just for me? A whole, "You're almost 30, so I sent you this Youth Serum" gift! I NEVER in a BILLION plus 10 years would ever buy this. But then, I realized just what I was making fun of others for. Preemptive bitching over a product that "I never would have purchased for myself." So I tried it...and I now have to say that this product alone made the whole box. My skin looks and feels the best that it has in years. Unfortunately, I had to be a cry-baby wah-face beforehand.

Brad Biophotonic Skin Care Ultra Peel- Retailing at 25.00 for a quarter of an ounce and I'm afraid to try this. I'm not big into "peels" and I don't want to have the first 3 layers of my face being rinsed down the drain. Once I do give this a go, I'll update further.


Overall, this box initially ruined my day, until I stopped being a pathetic, self-entitled sap. All in all, the value was there and the products were actually quite impressive, minus the Pop Beauty Crayon.

WAH! Meter- 5/10