Blush Mystery Beauty Box: October 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

Welcome home, Blush Mystery Beauty Box. I've been expecting you. 

Chella Skin Care Highlighter Pencil: Ivory Lace- I previously had to prostitute myself out on the Ipsy Facebook page, begging to trade for this. Hilariously, a month later Blush sends them out to everyone. I'm not going to lie...I didn't mind the prostitution. We were all winners. This highlighter is genius. It works for everything, especially for those less than sexy dark circles. If you don't know what to do with this godsend, do yourself a favor and search for some "how-to" videos.

Butter London Nail Laquer Vernis: Kerfuffle- It was so nice to receive a quality nail polish in a respectable color. Don't get me wrong, I love the crazy, wildness of beauty, but for some reason my profile is always matched to "Dramatic hooker, seeking attention," and I get all the "bolds and patterned." Finding a light pink polish that actually covers the nail isn't an easy task. This polish has fortunately ended my relentless search to do so. Win.

Karin Herzog Vita-A-Kombi- "A nutritious daily moisturizer with a slew of anti-aging benefits." Slew? Not multitude, plethora or exuberant...?" Again, it's no secret that I don't love moisturizers. I'll probably pop a Benadryl and smear this slewage on later.

Mirabella Mineral Highlighting Power: Glowing Coral- Who doesn't own a $38 highlighting powder? Not me, I'm part of the cool crowd. Mirabella, excluding the generic looking logo and lame color scheme, is quickly becoming a cosmetic favorite of mine. The design team seems to be dated...or perpetually stoned, but I digress. This product offers the perfect amount of shimmer and shine. It quickly amps up your look and is your official invite to the "cool kids table at lunch."

Myface Cosemetics Lip Pop Gloss: Sweetest Thing- If I was an objectum-sexual...I'd marry lip-gloss. The website divides the cosmetics into "fair, medium and dark," shade complexions. If you have NO idea what colors look good on you and feel that a $15 lip gloss is perfect for you, then I guess this is a cool concept. Maybe 1 person in the world found this helpful. The gloss is scentless and the brush itself isn't of high quality. As for color, quite nice and easily transitions from day to play.

[Edit: 1/23/2014] I have used this gloss nearly everyday. I can't get enough of it. After months, of repetitive use, I have to admit that I'm in love. My heart is breaking that I'm almost out.

Theraples Ft Exfoliating Emollient- "Penetrating moisture...now with peppermint" reads the tube. Weird. Was I just sent oral-sex gel? This isn't a lotion by any means (or sex-gel); it's a slightly greasy, mint-scented, foot lubricant, referred to as an "emollient." This works in a strange kind of way, but it has a distinctive retirement home smell. This can't even really be given as a gift...ex, "Here's this odd smelling foot lube that you've never heard of! Merry Christmas!" See, it just doesn't work.

Talika Lipocils Expert- My lashes are so short that I'll take any help that I can get. I'm stuck in a persistent conundrum, short natural lashes or drag-queen looking falsies. I'll pray to the lash-goddess for additional help. This product can't be reviewed with one application. Patience is a virtue, bitch.

Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20: Medium- Considering the "slew" of purposes that the product offers, as long as an allergic reaction doesn't occur, I'll call it a win. The shade is decent and seemingly works well as a primer. Big thrills..nooo.

In conclusion to my charm and wit, for me, this box is better than last months. Half of the box was out-of-this-world stellar and the lesser items were just, "eh."

Overall: B+





 

Glossybox: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

Glossy-boxy arrived in all of it's fall-y goodness. Fall, the season where everybody posts that moronic meme of "crisp air, fall leaves and hoodies" on Facebook.

 Theme: All You Need for Fall

According to the Glossybox thread, this box has been receiving high marks and setting high standards for the upcoming months. This will undoubtedly become Glossybox's "Box to Beat." Unlike most beauty boxes, this month had a very well thought out, cohesive theme. Onto the review:

BCBGMAXAZRIA: Bon Genre Eau De Parfum- This perfume pen has a masculine scent to it. BCBGMAXARIA refers to it as "seductive, mysterious and intriguing" and that's about as accurate as could be. It's the perfect scent for Fall. Unfortunately, I haven't got a clue on how to pronounce the name. When other gals ask me what scent I'm wearing, I'll embody a French lady and say, "It's a secret."

Be a Bombshell: Eyeliner Pen in Onyx- Be a Bombshell cosmetics rarely disappoint. This eyeliner is long-lasting and impressive. Besides the lackluster packaging, it's a must-have.

Emite Makeup- Eyelash Curler- The Emite Eyelash Curler has a sleek and elegant design. The rubber is high quality and deep compressing. Retailing around 31 dollars, this curler has completely knocked out it's competitors.

Nioxin- Diamax Treatment- "I don't need thicker hair," is the main bitching for this product, but let's for one second assume that you're not a total ignoramus and actually look at this product. Not only does this product thicken your hair (if applied to the roots) it also strengthens and protects hair against breakage. Split ends and damaged hair can make even the richest woman look poor. Fix up your hair...and then maybe your face.

Oceane- Makeup Remover Pen- Brilliant, brilliant and brilliant. This pen comes with 3 additional replacement tips to maximize the use of this product. Sadly, this is an international product and next to impossible to find. Wah.

Glossybox describes this box as the perfect way to "update your look," but really, it's the "What every girl should put in her Walk of Shame Bag box." Your confidence my be shaken after waking up at a strangers house, but after a swipe of liner, curl of the eyelashes and spritz of perfume, you'll be back on-top in no time. Sex Joke.

Overall- A+ Glossybox, A+

Fabletics Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

Fabletics is a recently launched workout clothing line from JustFab. I was so psyched about this newly launched company, because I'm ALL about the gym. I mean workout fanatic. Total lie; I was actually excited to get some new clothes to go grocery shopping in. I'll workout once the Biggest Loser accepts me as a future contestant.

I ordered the "Forgive" outfit, which included the "Nadi Legging" and the "Versital Tee." I chose the cheery colors of black and gray to match my positive disposition on life. I had a promo and did not pay the retail price. These outfits are a bit pricy. If your well off, never mind that last statement. Onto the review:

Versital Tee- I am so not the type of girl to wear a tee-shirt, let alone a short sleeve, v-neck. It's just not my style...until I met the Versital Tee. The fabric alone was incredible. Generously sized, so you can order a size down and the comfort is out of this world.

Nadi Legging- What girl hasn't been on the search for the perfect legging? When looking for a legging to begin with, you have to assess all possible angles and traits of the legging itself and your body. What fun! You get to determine if your ass does in fact look that bad or if you look like you have more cellulite than a hippo. Some girls don't own mirrors and wear leggings without hesitation. I, well I own a mirror and have shame. Plenty of shame. These leggings are the top of the line. The material, design, comfort, stretch and overall quality is phenomenal. I need these in every possible color.

Overall: After receiving this outfit, I ran upstairs to shower before slipping into such greatness. I wore the outfit for 2 days straight and then threw it in the wash so I could wear it again the next day. Not only did I look stunning, well let's be honest, that's not hard to achieve but I was comfortable. With this outfit, I felt like I could work out, but alas...I totally did not. I did, however, catch up on "Breaking Bad."


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PopSugar Must Have: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim
 

The long awaited September Popsugar Must Have Box has arrived. "I hope it is as good as last years" sentiments can finally be laid to rest. How many times can that be stated? Don't you realize that a past box, previous memories invokes a state of nostalgia? You probably only thought the box was "eh," and may have even bitched about it, but now it has come to be the "box to beat." With that said, onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards

Barr-Co. Original Scent Reed Diffuser- Who needs a 45$ reed diffuser scented with milk, oatmeal and vetiver? I do. It's reminds me of walking into a beautifully-clean house and immediately feeling at home. The jar is aesthetically pleasing and the scent is relaxing. Diffuser refills are available on their website with a plethora of intriguing scents. It just keeps getting better, I know.

Reasons to Bitch-

• "I didn't know not to pour all of the oil into my diffuser and I now ruined it."
• "This is the most expensive item in the box and I don't like that."
• "I don't like the scent!"
• "This doesn't match my décor."

P.S- You're Invited by Erica Domesek- I'm embarrassed to admit that I like this book. Living in Pennsylvania, means that we have Winter 9 out of the 12 months. I sometimes, think..."Jamie, why exactly are you saving that jar of random buttons?" Now, I know...I'm making Christmas gifts..."

Life with P.S.- You're Invited Craft Book.

Text from a friend: Hey, we're all going out tonight. Awesome drink specials and entertainment.
Me: Sounds great, wish I could come.
Friend: Why can't you? You have 4 cats, not 4 kids...
Me: I need to make an Aztec Print Poncho (pg. 128) from this blanket I got at Goodwill.
Friend: Wtf, Jamie...
Me: Wait! Instead of going out, why don't you all just come over. I have enough material and buttons for everyone!
(20 min. of no reply)
Me: Heey...did your phone die?

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I would MUCH rather have a novel."
• "I don't have time to make crafts."
• "I can't believe that I have to buy extra material just to make these items."
• "I lost all of my friends, because I stopped going out and stayed at home to make these crafts.

Rifle Paper Co. Coaster Set- Nothing says you're living the high-life quite like paper coasters! No? You don't agree? Out of all the prints that Rifle Paper Co. has available, we were sent: Tea party with your weird Aunt, coasters. Now, I'm not 100% sure if that is the actual name of this design, but if it is, I wouldn't be surprised. So, it's not a secret; I'm not in love with these. But I like doing things out of spite, so I am going to use these coasters until they disintegrate.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "These are made out of paper. Water and paper go absolutely great together!"
• "I just stole a stack of paper coasters from Applebee's, so I don't need these."
• "They didn't come with a little coaster holder, so now what?"
• "My weird aunt stole these and now she wants to have a tea party."

Kitsch Headbands- I love these! They don't squeeze your head, making you feel like you're brains are going to come out of your ears. They also don't put that, "I just wore a headband" dent in your hair after you take it out. I like how the collection was a mix of neutral and bright solid colors. Total win.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I have an unusually large head and these make me look even more like a freak."
• "I don't like the twistband, so I don't like these!"
• "I just have sooooo many hair ties and hair bands."
• "Why were we sent such ordinary colors when the website has tons of cool designs?"

Shoptiques 25$ Gift Card- I wish that we were sent actual gift cards like this in every box. You basically receive your money back with these gift cards. Shoptiques is a unique store that allows you access to boutiques all around the world, like Paris. I'm not as impressed with this, because I'm like at Paris and other worldly places all the time. Oh, wait...that's not my life. Anyways, everyone usually complains about how they don't like receiving gift cards, but what they are obviously missing is that this is how you get your "customizable" box. I used my Shoptiques card to get this stylish hat.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "Everything on the site is just way too expensive for me!"
• "I still have to pay for shipping and that isn't okay."
• "I haven't even used the previous gift cards I received!"
• "Out of the 20,000 items on the website, I just couldn't find anything."

That's It. Bar: Apple & Pear- I appreciate the fact that only 2 fruits make up this bar and for 100 calories, I'm not going to bitch, much. The texture was weird and it was quite seedy. It wasn't bad, but this probably will appeal more so to the Organic type of people that pack their pre-school aged children with these items.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I didn't sign up to receive cheap food items."
• "I hate fruits and so does everybody I know."
• "If I wanted to pretend to be organic, I'd go to Trader Joes."

Sharkies Energy Chews: Watermelon- I don't understand how these gummies are use to promote "energy." Calories convert into energy, therefore Burger King is for the athlete. But, gummies are gummies and everybody loves those!

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I don't like the flavor I received."
• "This is basically candy and I'm way too health conscious to eat this."
• "I feel like I don't deserve to eat this, because I didn't work out first."

The Verdict: Great box. For 35$, it was well worth it.

Join me: SIGN UP & BITCH

Ipsy: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo skills of Jzim

 

Theme: Classic Beauty

I love the look of a  simple, classic, beautiful girl...but some people have no idea what that means or even looks like and throws on everything they get in their bags. Just because it's sent together, doesn't mean it goes together. Well, Jamie, why must you be such a bitch? I'm sorry, sorry that you needed to find out this way, but you may thank me later. Maybe. Onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards

Cailyn Cosmetics Tinted Lip Balm: Big Apple- Phenomenal. There isn't really any other way to describe this "lip balm." The color is a vibrant, matte gorgeous red. Some red lip products are of that of a scary clown, but this one is far beyond that. The color lasts for hours and doesn't bleed around your mouth leaving you look like a 6-year child who got into the Cherry Kool-Aid. A slight downside would be that it is not very moisturizing, but deal with it. Red lips scream, bitch in charge.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "Another red! Please stop sending redsssssssssssss"
• "I am not a hooker and you are compromising my morals by sending me this!"
• "I don't know how to wear lipstick and I'm too lazy to learn!"
• "I am, in fact, a hooker and I didn't get this. Wah."

Elizabeth Mott It's So Big Volumizing Mascara: Black- I could receive a mini-mascara in every bag and be cool with that. Mascara has such a short shelf-life and if you're using a mascara older than 6 months, well enjoy that eye infection that you're about to get. This product is cute, purse-worthy and effective.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "We were just sent a mascara last month!"
• "I don't use mascara and expect Ipsy to the cater to the classes not the masses."
• "The title is sexually suggestive and this makes me uncomfortable."
• "Um, I checked no mascara in my profile and I'm too stupid to know that this was sent to everybody."

NYX Single Eyeshadow: Purple- Someone on the message boards referred to this as an "Easter Egg Purple." I think that made my life. I don't know who said it, but she deserves some credit. With that aside, this is a pretty gorgeous color. After you swatch it, it's more of a delicate purple with a slight shimmer.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I signed up to get premier make-up and you sent me NYX."
• "I don't like the color I was sent." (Only ok, if you received the blue. Uncool.)
• "I have so many shadows and only two little eyes."
• "It doesn't come with an applicator and this breaks my heart."

J.Cat Beauty Fantabulous Lipstick: Honey Crisp- For those of you that received this product, you're acting a fool...this lipstick (mainly the color) is genius. I have looked everywhere for an actual nude lipstick that covers up your lips and not just blend in with them. If you were to do a complete smoky eye (blacks & browns) and then wiped your lips out with this nude color, you'd look gorgeous. I can't stand a heavy lip with a heavy eye. I love this color and really if you were in a pinch, you could use it for a make-shift concealer. Half the fun in make-up is trying something new.

Reasons to Bitch:

• "Oh Em Gee, this color is HORRIBLE."
• "I look like a corpse with this on."
• "I hate cats and therefore, I hate J.Cat Beauty."

Jesse's Girl Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner: Black- Jesse's Girl, where have you been all my life? This eyeliner is legit. From the sleek packaging to the flawless application. Cheers all around. Liquid eyeliner is usually a pain in the ass for some, but this is idiot proof. I quickly swiped in on with little effort and there it was, incredible. As for waterproof, they aren't joking. I swatched it 4x on my hand and proceeded to wipe it off with a wet rag. I ended up with a raw hand and barely smudged liner. A+

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I didn't get this and I now feel that Ipsy has a personal vendetta against me."
• "I don't know how to apply liquid eyeliner."
• "This liner reminds me of the song "Jesse's Girl," and I hate that song."

Now, ok if you were totally thrilled with your bag this month and you still want to bitch, we could always bitch about shipping methods and how we feel that others received better bags than ourselves.

The Verdict: Incredible. Thanks Ipsy.

Join me and bitch:  SIGN UP & BITCH

Blush Mystery Beauty Box: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim


Blush Mystery Beauty Box came and I was so excited, but then I turned into an extreme Negative Nancy. Luckily, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pop Beauty Pouty Pop Crayon: Fuchsia Flirt- WAH! I tried to like this crayon, just like I tried to like the scent of Vanilla, and I simply cannot do it. Ipsy sent a Pop Beauty Coral Crayon my way months prior and it was just as bad. The application is weak and it does not cover at all. Out of all the lip crayons in the world, this one does not work well. I think a Crayola crayon would cover better.

Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging Dry Shampoo: I believe in this wild idea of actually washing my hair but, when I do use a Dry Shampoo, it just reminds me that I'm still dirty. All bitching aside, I really do like the Alterna brand and have always been impressed. This is a powdered dry shampoo which makes application a bit more of a challenge. Just go shower.

LVX Nail Laquer- Nail polishes are fun, but I find it hard to beat O.P.I. The laquer was thinner than most nail colors and it immediately stained the areas around my cuticles. After the initial application, drying time was average and the color was stellar. As for chipping, sadly 1 day is all it took. Wah, again. 

Amlactin Triple Action Alpha-Hydroxy Therapy Foot Cream- Scentless foot cream. Isn't the whole appeal to a foot cream the scent? The information card said that the cream "Sloughs off dead skin cells as it soothes and smoothes severely dry and calloused feet." Hungry? For this little write-up alone, Wah, AGAIN.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel- I needed a new brow gelllllll! At first I didn't think the product was effective so I coated on several layers. Don't do this, it works fine with one application. With several coats, my eyebrow were that of a Ken Doll.

Racinne Deluxe Travel Set- I was pissed when I received this. Like legit pissed! A whole collection just for me? A whole, "You're almost 30, so I sent you this Youth Serum" gift! I NEVER in a BILLION plus 10 years would ever buy this. But then, I realized just what I was making fun of others for. Preemptive bitching over a product that "I never would have purchased for myself." So I tried it...and I now have to say that this product alone made the whole box. My skin looks and feels the best that it has in years. Unfortunately, I had to be a cry-baby wah-face beforehand.

Brad Biophotonic Skin Care Ultra Peel- Retailing at 25.00 for a quarter of an ounce and I'm afraid to try this. I'm not big into "peels" and I don't want to have the first 3 layers of my face being rinsed down the drain. Once I do give this a go, I'll update further.


Overall, this box initially ruined my day, until I stopped being a pathetic, self-entitled sap. All in all, the value was there and the products were actually quite impressive, minus the Pop Beauty Crayon.

WAH! Meter- 5/10

Birchbox: September 2013 Review

Sweet photo-skills of Jzim

September's theme is Heritage, all about where they came from and how they got to be there. ie: Started from the bottom, now I'm here...according the Drake

A good bit of the caterwauling on Birchbox's Facebook page has been positive for this month. Sure there still are your negative nancy's, but where else can we find such trivial ridiculousness other than on the inter-web?

My box of preciousness includes:

Amika: Blow Up Spray- Such a great scent...It makes me feel like I just went to a salon and that I could actually have money, like be a wealthy kind of girl. It has that kind of affect on me. A product that protects your hair AND gives you a false sense of financial security, A+

Caudalie: Cleaning Water: How pretentious, "Cleansing Water," It's so stuck-up and I love that. It easily removes make-up and doesn't leave a greasy after feel. Nothing is worse than using a makeup remover and then having to wash your face because of the oils. The packing is also well done. It's like they are telling us that they are better than us, but they still want to be our friend.

Coastal Scents: Moroccan Sunset- Highly pigmented and overall I'm impressed. This quad is super cute and will be perfect for a mini-zpalette to stick in your car for whenever you need to go to Target, because Wal-Mart didn't have what you needed.

Ruffian: Hedge Fund- Hallelujah, I got the green color. It's such a glamorous fall lacquer and the application was of high quality. The packaging was also adorable. A win on all fronts.

Egyptian Magic: All- Purpose Skin Cream (Beauty Extra) Before your panties get stuck up your annoying ass, calm down and realize that this "foil packet," is indeed, a "Beauty extra." Ok, you're welcome...you were not aware of this, but now you are. What is exciting about this product is that it helps with moisturizing, wrinkles BRUISES & BURNS. I mean that's cool. I can't wait to get burned now, maybe even kicked and bruised.

Overall, I loved this month. Sadly, BB forgot to send me my "Golden Ticket of 1,000 BB points." I'll keep checking my account for these points for their massive mishap. Geez.

Everyday there is incessant bitching and unnecessary comparison of Ipsy vs. Birchbox, which doesn't even make sense. If you take my box alone, subtract the Egyptian Magic, the box itself and add an Ipsy bag, you have almost an exact month sample of what Ipsy would send. Ipsy sends coastal scents all the time. So why is everyone bashing Birch box and comparing them to Ipsy, well short answer...people are stupid.

Sign-up for Birchy-box: I want a Birchbox, too!

Love,
Jamie.