Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Ipsy: October 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim
After sending and posting relentless, irate letters to Ipsy, UPS and DHL, my bag FINALLY came. I mean,  I had to wait until mid-month, like Ipsy promised us from the very beginning. Oh, wait...I didn't do any of that, because I'm not a ball-sack. Onto the review:

Theme: The Art of Beauty

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards.

Buxom Full-on Lip Polish: Dolly- Buxom is a prestige cosmetic line and well sought after for their remarkable products. I had high expectations for this gloss and after the pain of the lip-plumping misery went away, I liked it. The initial sting was quite awful and rather shocking. Several hours later, I could still feel the sting, BUT my lips were fuller. The color is a nice neutral, but this is a gloss with a vengeance.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "Ipsy clearly hates me, because I didn't get this gloss."
  • "For $10, I should have received the full-size, in addition to the 4 other products."
  • "This is more of a 'little girl pink,' and I'm a full-on twat-face. I would prefer a darker shade."
Nourish Organic Body Lotion: Coconut & Argan- The smooth, moisturizing texture doesn't disappoint, however...the slight scent of vanilla does. Wah. Some woman are all about the "Organic" qualities of beauty products which this lotion offers. I, however, enjoy littering and wrecking havoc on our planet, so it's wasted on me. Relax, that was a joke.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "The packaging looks like it's from the 80s and that isn't ok for my modern lifestyle."
  • "I think Organic products are over-rated."
  • "You can find this a Target, but I'd rather go to Walmart, so I can wear my pajama pants."
Ole Henriksen: Truth Serum Collagen Booster- Excellent skin care is the best foundation for your face full of makeup...including those awful anti-aging products. Ole Henriksen Truth Serum claims to reduce fine lines, brighten and protect from environmental aggressors. Slightly citrusy, fast-absorbing and non-greasy, Ole Henriksen just might do the trick for my frown lines.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I frown way too much for this product to be of help."
  • "I really wanted this and feel outraged that I missed out on it."
  • "I signed up for make-up, not skin care."
Sexy Hair: Blow Dry Gel- The 'Sexy Hair,' line is an absolute favorite of mine. I have yet to use a product that gave less than stellar results. A little goes a long way for this product. You only need about a dime-size worth of gel to get a complete blow-out effect. Well done, Sexy Hair, well done.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "Um, this isn't the 90s...and I'm not going for a glamour shoot. Big hair need not apply."
  • "I have a really outdated hair style and I'd like to keep it that way."
  • "I already have voluptuous hair and I don't want to take additional time to style it."
Zoya Nail Polish: Mason- Fall 2013 nails are sure to look stunning with Zoya's new polish line. This polish is easy to apply due to the consistency of the product and is relatively long-lasting.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I hate the color that I received so much, that I cannot even give this a fair rating."
  • "My 12 year old daughter wears blues, purples and greens. I'm too crotchety for that."
  • "Another nail polish? I didn't even finish that last bottle..."
Overall, my bag was great...thankfully so! If not, I was going to have to write additional hate mail and post it on every forum I know of. I was then going to teach my kids that, Bitching and harassing a company is the ONLY way to get results. Good thing I like my bag...but there's always next month.

Click to Sign Up & Bitch

Rating: A