Monday, September 16, 2013

Ipsy: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo skills of Jzim

Theme: Classic Beauty

I love the look of a  simple, classic, beautiful girl...but some people have no idea what that means or even looks like and throws on everything they get in their bags. Just because it's sent together, doesn't mean it goes together. Well, Jamie, why must you be such a bitch? I'm sorry, sorry that you needed to find out this way, but you may thank me later. Maybe. Onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards

Cailyn Cosmetics Tinted Lip Balm: Big Apple- Phenomenal. There isn't really any other way to describe this "lip balm." The color is a vibrant, matte gorgeous red. Some red lip products are of that of a scary clown, but this one is far beyond that. The color lasts for hours and doesn't bleed around your mouth leaving you look like a 6-year child who got into the Cherry Kool-Aid. A slight downside would be that it is not very moisturizing, but deal with it. Red lips scream, bitch in charge.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "Another red! Please stop sending redsssssssssssss"
  • "I am not a hooker and you are compromising my morals by sending me this!"
  • "I don't know how to wear lipstick and I'm too lazy to learn!"
  • "I am, in fact, a hooker and I didn't get this. Wah."
Elizabeth Mott It's So Big Volumizing Mascara: Black- I could receive a mini-mascara in every bag and be cool with that. Mascara has such a short shelf-life and if you're using a mascara older than 6 months, well enjoy that eye infection that you're about to get. This product is cute, purse-worthy and effective.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "We were just sent a mascara last month!"
  • "I don't use mascara and expect Ipsy to the cater to the classes not the masses."
  • "The title is sexually suggestive and this makes me uncomfortable."
  • "Um, I checked no mascara in my profile and I'm too stupid to know that this was sent to everybody."
NYX Single Eyeshadow: Purple- Someone on the message boards referred to this as an "Easter Egg Purple." I think that made my life. I don't know who said it, but she deserves some credit. With that aside, this is a pretty gorgeous color. After you swatch it, it's more of a delicate purple with a slight shimmer.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I signed up to get premier make-up and you sent me NYX."
  • "I don't like the color I was sent." (Only ok, if you received the blue. Uncool.)
  • "I have so many shadows and only two little eyes."
  • "It doesn't come with an applicator and this breaks my heart."
J.Cat Beauty Fantabulous Lipstick: Honey Crisp- For those of you that received this product, you're acting a fool...this lipstick (mainly the color) is genius. I have looked everywhere for an actual nude lipstick that covers up your lips and not just blend in with them. If you were to do a complete smoky eye (blacks & browns) and then wiped your lips out with this nude color, you'd look gorgeous. I can't stand a heavy lip with a heavy eye. I love this color and really if you were in a pinch, you could use it for a make-shift concealer. Half the fun in make-up is trying something new.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "Oh Em Gee, this color is HORRIBLE."
  • "I look like a corpse with this on."
  • "I hate cats and therefore, I hate J.Cat Beauty."
Jesse's Girl Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner: Black- Jesse's Girl, where have you been all my life? This eyeliner is legit. From the sleek packaging to the flawless application. Cheers all around. Liquid eyeliner is usually a pain in the ass for some, but this is idiot proof. I quickly swiped in on with little effort and there it was, incredible. As for waterproof, they aren't joking. I swatched it 4x on my hand and proceeded to wipe it off with a wet rag. I ended up with a raw hand and barely smudged liner. A+

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I didn't get this and I now feel that Ipsy has a personal vendetta against me."
  • "I don't know how to apply liquid eyeliner."
  • "This liner reminds me of the song "Jesse's Girl," and I hate that song."
Now, ok if you were totally thrilled with your bag this month and you still want to bitch, we could always bitch about shipping methods and how we feel that others received better bags than ourselves.

The Verdict: Incredible. Thanks Ipsy.

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