Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Birchbox: October 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

Birchbox is on fire this month with timely shipping, impressive product "samples," and over-the-top customer service, but don't worry...bitches are still bitching.

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards

Theme: Beauty Buzz

Benefit Cosmetics: Fake Up- I was pleasantly surprised to find a Benefit product in my box, because I never get sent them. I just figured Benefit was "anti-Jamie," and didn't want to play with me. "Fake-up" is a brilliant concept where it moisturizes, conceals and gives the appearance that you're ready to tackle the day. The packaging is adorable and it really works, a total must-have.

Reasons to Bitch
  • "I don't fake anything Benefit, just orgasms, I fake those."
  • "The sample is just too small and I deserve a full-size product."
  • "I don't have dark circles and simply don't know any other woman that does."
Liz Earle: Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser- Such a huge sample, beautifully packaged. After reading the instructions I scrubbed up and immediately fell in love with this cleanser. The smooth texture of the polish leaves the skin feeling alive, awake and clean. Another A+

Reasons to Bitch
  • "I already have a cleanser that I use and would never dare to update my preferences."
  • "This product smells like medicine."
  • "I don't like how it requires a special cloth to use effectively."
Liz Earle: Pure Muslin Cloth- Part two of the Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish. In addition to the polish, this cloth seals the deal. My skin feels unbelievable and it's because of this slightly course cleansing cloth.

Reasons to Bitch
  • "You counted this as one of my samples, so I'm going to write mean letters on the BB Facebook page."
  • "I only use hypo-allergenic materials on my sensitive face."
  • "I have to wash this cloth? Thanks for the extra chore, Liz."
Pop Beauty Aqua Lacquer: Flowery Fuchsia- Pop Beauty hasn't been a favorite of mine, but they may have just redeemed themselves. This gloss is slightly minty with a versatile feminine color. The only downside is that the a "paddle." Definitely not so easy for a quick application in a crowded-club scene.

Reasons to Bitch
  • "I poked myself in the eye with the applicator paddle."
  • "This gloss makes me feel like a pre-teen and I'm a sassy-outspoken, blue-hair."
  • "Pop Beauty makes those awful Pouty Pop Crayons, and I can't forgive them for that."
ChapStick Moisturizer Hydration Lock: Vanilla Crème- If I was trapped on a desert island and could only take 3 things, ChapStick would be one of them. The scent is 'wah' to me, but it's more of a cake-vanilla, rather than warm-vanilla. Ultra-moisturizing and lip-smoothing, ChapStick, I'm in love.

Reasons to Bitch
  • "My bitch girl-friends and I didn't sign up to receive ChapStick."
  • "I never use ChapStick and I'm content with my alligator lips."
  • "I twisted up my ChapStick and now it won't go back down."
Overall, Birchbox is aiming high and setting their sights on regaining their subscription crown.

A+ Birchbox