Thursday, September 19, 2013

PopSugar Must Have: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim
The long awaited September Popsugar Must Have Box has arrived. "I hope it is as good as last years" sentiments can finally be laid to rest. How many times can that be stated? Don't you realize that a past box, previous memories invokes a state of nostalgia? You probably only thought the box was "eh," and may have even bitched about it, but now it has come to be the "box to beat." With that said, onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards

Barr-Co. Original Scent Reed Diffuser- Who needs a 45$ reed diffuser scented with milk, oatmeal and vetiver? I do. It's reminds me of walking into a beautifully-clean house and immediately feeling at home. The jar is aesthetically pleasing and the scent is relaxing. Diffuser refills are available on their website with a plethora of intriguing scents. It just keeps getting better, I know.

Reasons to Bitch-
  • "I didn't know not to pour all of the oil into my diffuser and I now ruined it."
  • "This is the most expensive item in the box and I don't like that."
  • "I don't like the scent!"
  • "This doesn't match my d├ęcor."
P.S- You're Invited by Erica Domesek- I'm embarrassed to admit that I like this book. Living in Pennsylvania, means that we have Winter 9 out of the 12 months. I sometimes, think..."Jamie, why exactly are you saving that jar of random buttons?" Now, I know...I'm making Christmas gifts..."

Life with P.S.- You're Invited Craft Book.

Text from a friend: Hey, we're all going out tonight. Awesome drink specials and entertainment.
Me: Sounds great, wish I could come.
Friend: Why can't you? You have 4 cats, not 4 kids...
Me: I need to make an Aztec Print Poncho (pg. 128) from this blanket I got at Goodwill.
Friend: Wtf, Jamie...
Me: Wait! Instead of going out, why don't you all just come over. I have enough material and buttons for everyone!
(20 min. of no reply)
Me: Heey...did your phone die?

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I would MUCH rather have a novel."
  • "I don't have time to make crafts."
  • "I can't believe that I have to buy extra material just to make these items."
  • "I lost all of my friends, because I stopped going out and stayed at home to make these crafts.
Rifle Paper Co. Coaster Set- Nothing says you're living the high-life quite like paper coasters! No? You don't agree? Out of all the prints that Rifle Paper Co. has available, we were sent: Tea party with your weird Aunt, coasters. Now, I'm not 100% sure if that is the actual name of this design, but if it is, I wouldn't be surprised. So, it's not a secret; I'm not in love with these. But I like doing things out of spite, so I am going to use these coasters until they disintegrate.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "These are made out of paper. Water and paper go absolutely great together!"
  • "I just stole a stack of paper coasters from Applebee's, so I don't need these."
  • "They didn't come with a little coaster holder, so now what?"
  • "My weird aunt stole these and now she wants to have a tea party."
Kitsch Headbands- I love these! They don't squeeze your head, making you feel like you're brains are going to come out of your ears. They also don't put that, "I just wore a headband" dent in your hair after you take it out. I like how the collection was a mix of neutral and bright solid colors. Total win.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I have an unusually large head and these make me look even more like a freak."
  • "I don't like the twistband, so I don't like these!"
  • "I just have sooooo many hair ties and hair bands."
  • "Why were we sent such ordinary colors when the website has tons of cool designs?"
Shoptiques 25$ Gift Card- I wish that we were sent actual gift cards like this in every box. You basically receive your money back with these gift cards. Shoptiques is a unique store that allows you access to boutiques all around the world, like Paris. I'm not as impressed with this, because I'm like at Paris and other worldly places all the time. Oh, wait...that's not my life. Anyways, everyone usually complains about how they don't like receiving gift cards, but what they are obviously missing is that this is how you get your "customizable" box. I used my Shoptiques card to get this stylish hat.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "Everything on the site is just way too expensive for me!"
  • "I still have to pay for shipping and that isn't okay."
  • "I haven't even used the previous gift cards I received!"
  • "Out of the 20,000 items on the website, I just couldn't find anything."
That's It. Bar: Apple & Pear- I appreciate the fact that only 2 fruits make up this bar and for 100 calories, I'm not going to bitch, much. The texture was weird and it was quite seedy. It wasn't bad, but this probably will appeal more so to the Organic type of people that pack their pre-school aged children with these items.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I didn't sign up to receive cheap food items."
  • "I hate fruits and so does everybody I know."
  • "If I wanted to pretend to be organic, I'd go to Trader Joes."
Sharkies Energy Chews: Watermelon- I don't understand how these gummies are use to promote "energy." Calories convert into energy, therefore Burger King is for the athlete. But, gummies are gummies and everybody loves those!

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I don't like the flavor I received."
  • "This is basically candy and I'm way too health conscious to eat this."
  • "I feel like I don't deserve to eat this, because I didn't work out first."
The Verdict: Great box. For 35$, it was well worth it.

Join me: SIGN UP & BITCH

Monday, September 16, 2013

Ipsy: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo skills of Jzim

Theme: Classic Beauty

I love the look of a  simple, classic, beautiful girl...but some people have no idea what that means or even looks like and throws on everything they get in their bags. Just because it's sent together, doesn't mean it goes together. Well, Jamie, why must you be such a bitch? I'm sorry, sorry that you needed to find out this way, but you may thank me later. Maybe. Onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards

Cailyn Cosmetics Tinted Lip Balm: Big Apple- Phenomenal. There isn't really any other way to describe this "lip balm." The color is a vibrant, matte gorgeous red. Some red lip products are of that of a scary clown, but this one is far beyond that. The color lasts for hours and doesn't bleed around your mouth leaving you look like a 6-year child who got into the Cherry Kool-Aid. A slight downside would be that it is not very moisturizing, but deal with it. Red lips scream, bitch in charge.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "Another red! Please stop sending redsssssssssssss"
  • "I am not a hooker and you are compromising my morals by sending me this!"
  • "I don't know how to wear lipstick and I'm too lazy to learn!"
  • "I am, in fact, a hooker and I didn't get this. Wah."
Elizabeth Mott It's So Big Volumizing Mascara: Black- I could receive a mini-mascara in every bag and be cool with that. Mascara has such a short shelf-life and if you're using a mascara older than 6 months, well enjoy that eye infection that you're about to get. This product is cute, purse-worthy and effective.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "We were just sent a mascara last month!"
  • "I don't use mascara and expect Ipsy to the cater to the classes not the masses."
  • "The title is sexually suggestive and this makes me uncomfortable."
  • "Um, I checked no mascara in my profile and I'm too stupid to know that this was sent to everybody."
NYX Single Eyeshadow: Purple- Someone on the message boards referred to this as an "Easter Egg Purple." I think that made my life. I don't know who said it, but she deserves some credit. With that aside, this is a pretty gorgeous color. After you swatch it, it's more of a delicate purple with a slight shimmer.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I signed up to get premier make-up and you sent me NYX."
  • "I don't like the color I was sent." (Only ok, if you received the blue. Uncool.)
  • "I have so many shadows and only two little eyes."
  • "It doesn't come with an applicator and this breaks my heart."
J.Cat Beauty Fantabulous Lipstick: Honey Crisp- For those of you that received this product, you're acting a fool...this lipstick (mainly the color) is genius. I have looked everywhere for an actual nude lipstick that covers up your lips and not just blend in with them. If you were to do a complete smoky eye (blacks & browns) and then wiped your lips out with this nude color, you'd look gorgeous. I can't stand a heavy lip with a heavy eye. I love this color and really if you were in a pinch, you could use it for a make-shift concealer. Half the fun in make-up is trying something new.

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "Oh Em Gee, this color is HORRIBLE."
  • "I look like a corpse with this on."
  • "I hate cats and therefore, I hate J.Cat Beauty."
Jesse's Girl Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner: Black- Jesse's Girl, where have you been all my life? This eyeliner is legit. From the sleek packaging to the flawless application. Cheers all around. Liquid eyeliner is usually a pain in the ass for some, but this is idiot proof. I quickly swiped in on with little effort and there it was, incredible. As for waterproof, they aren't joking. I swatched it 4x on my hand and proceeded to wipe it off with a wet rag. I ended up with a raw hand and barely smudged liner. A+

Reasons to Bitch:
  • "I didn't get this and I now feel that Ipsy has a personal vendetta against me."
  • "I don't know how to apply liquid eyeliner."
  • "This liner reminds me of the song "Jesse's Girl," and I hate that song."
Now, ok if you were totally thrilled with your bag this month and you still want to bitch, we could always bitch about shipping methods and how we feel that others received better bags than ourselves.

The Verdict: Incredible. Thanks Ipsy.

Join me and bitch:  SIGN UP & BITCH

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Blush Mystery Beauty Box: September 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

Blush Mystery Beauty Box came and I was so excited, but then I turned into an extreme Negative Nancy. Luckily, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pop Beauty Pouty Pop Crayon: Fuchsia FlirtWAH! I tried to like this crayon, just like I tried to like the scent of Vanilla, and I simply cannot do it. Ipsy sent a Pop Beauty Coral Crayon my way months prior and it was just as bad. The application is weak and it does not cover at all. Out of all the lip crayons in the world, this one does not work well. I think a Crayola crayon would cover better.

Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging Dry Shampoo: I believe in this wild idea of actually washing my hair but, when I do use a Dry Shampoo, it just reminds me that I'm still dirty. All bitching aside, I really do like the Alterna brand and have always been impressed. This is a powdered dry shampoo which makes application a bit more of a challenge. Just go shower.

LVX Nail Laquer- Nail polishes are fun, but I find it hard to beat O.P.I. The laquer was thinner than most nail colors and it immediately stained the areas around my cuticles. After the initial application, drying time was average and the color was stellar. As for chipping, sadly 1 day is all it took. Wah, again. 

Amlactin Triple Action Alpha-Hydroxy Therapy Foot Cream- Scentless foot cream. Isn't the whole appeal to a foot cream the scent? The information card said that the cream "Sloughs off dead skin cells as it soothes and smoothes severely dry and calloused feet." Hungry? For this little write-up alone, Wah, AGAIN.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel- I needed a new brow gelllllll! At first I didn't think the product was effective so I coated on several layers. Don't do this, it works fine with one application. With several coats, my eyebrow were that of a Ken Doll.

Racinne Deluxe Travel Set- I was pissed when I received this. Like legit pissed! A whole collection just for me? A whole, "You're almost 30, so I sent you this Youth Serum" gift! I NEVER in a BILLION plus 10 years would ever buy this. But then, I realized just what I was making fun of others for. Preemptive bitching over a product that "I never would have purchased for myself." So I tried it...and I now have to say that this product alone made the whole box. My skin looks and feels the best that it has in years. Unfortunately, I had to be a cry-baby wah-face beforehand.

Brad Biophotonic Skin Care Ultra Peel- Retailing at 25.00 for a quarter of an ounce and I'm afraid to try this. I'm not big into "peels" and I don't want to have the first 3 layers of my face being rinsed down the drain. Once I do give this a go, I'll update further.

Overall, this box initially ruined my day, until I stopped being a pathetic, self-entitled sap. All in all, the value was there and the products were actually quite impressive, minus the Pop Beauty Crayon.

WAH! Meter- 5/10

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Birchbox: September 2013 Review

Sweet photo-skills of Jzim

September's theme is Heritage, all about where they came from and how they got to be there. ie: Started from the bottom, now I'm here...according the Drake

A good bit of the caterwauling on Birchbox's Facebook page has been positive for this month. Sure there still are your negative nancy's, but where else can we find such trivial ridiculousness other than on the inter-web?

My box of preciousness includes:

Amika: Blow Up Spray- Such a great scent...It makes me feel like I just went to a salon and that I could actually have money, like be a wealthy kind of girl. It has that kind of affect on me. A product that protects your hair AND gives you a false sense of financial security, A+

Caudalie: Cleaning Water: How pretentious, "Cleansing Water," It's so stuck-up and I love that. It easily removes make-up and doesn't leave a greasy after feel. Nothing is worse than using a makeup remover and then having to wash your face because of the oils. The packing is also well done. It's like they are telling us that they are better than us, but they still want to be our friend.

Coastal Scents: Moroccan Sunset- Highly pigmented and overall I'm impressed. This quad is super cute and will be perfect for a mini-zpalette to stick in your car for whenever you need to go to Target, because Wal-Mart didn't have what you needed.

Ruffian: Hedge Fund- Hallelujah, I got the green color. It's such a glamorous fall lacquer and the application was of high quality. The packaging was also adorable. A win on all fronts.

Egyptian Magic: All- Purpose Skin Cream (Beauty Extra) Before your panties get stuck up your annoying ass, calm down and realize that this "foil packet," is indeed, a "Beauty extra." Ok, you're were not aware of this, but now you are. What is exciting about this product is that it helps with moisturizing, wrinkles BRUISES & BURNS. I mean that's cool. I can't wait to get burned now, maybe even kicked and bruised.

Overall, I loved this month. Sadly, BB forgot to send me my "Golden Ticket of 1,000 BB points." I'll keep checking my account for these points for their massive mishap. Geez.

Everyday there is incessant bitching and unnecessary comparison of Ipsy vs. Birchbox, which doesn't even make sense. If you take my box alone, subtract the Egyptian Magic, the box itself and add an Ipsy bag, you have almost an exact month sample of what Ipsy would send. Ipsy sends coastal scents all the time. So why is everyone bashing Birch box and comparing them to Ipsy, well short answer...people are stupid.

Sign-up for Birchy-box: I want a Birchbox, too!