Glossybox: August 2013 Review

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim



Hello, Glossybox! After stalking my mail carrier for days on end, he finally delivered my box. It was so nice of him not to pound on my door like a serial killer tracking down his next victim. Scares me, but that's besides the point.

For $21 dollars, I was sent a box worth over $85. If you're a numbers type of gal, then I'm sure you are pleased. If you could care less about the price-points and more about the products, then please read on.

Theme: Bohemian Summer

Anatomicals- Spray Misty for Me Facial Spritz: I have never been one for Facial Sprays and I'm still not today. I don't really see the benefit to them, unless you are at the beach and you want a quick way to cool down. Then, maybe I would be interested. The scent is a lavender, peppermint mix which is supposed to have a calming, invigorating aspect to it. I spritzed it on and then swiped a cotton ball over it. Dramatic results...no. Incredible feel...no. Allergic reaction...surprisingly not!    

Novex- Brazillian Keratin Hair Care Treatment Cream: Deep conditioner for the hair, but absolutely no instructions on what to do with it. I had to do some quick research on what I was supposed to do, exactly. Do I leave it in, wash it out or eat it? The overly crowded, shiny label called it "Hair Food..." not everyone is as smart as I am, so perhaps eating it was an option.

How to use:

1. Daily conditioner
2. Deep conditioning tx: Leave in for 30 min, wrapped in a shower cap, rinse
3. Deep conditioning tx: Leave in for 15 min, add heat ie: blowdryer, rinse

I used method #2...kind of. After staying in the shower for as long as I could stand (an additional 10 minutes, mind you) I rinsed my hair and styled it. My results, shiny hair. Nothing more, nothing less. This products received rave reviews from women of color with super curly or hard to manage hair. I wasn't astounded by the product, but perhaps I'm not the target audience. Overall, Novex Brazilian Keratin Hair Tx smelled absolutely wonderful, did nothing spectacular for me and had me naked in the shower for an additional 10 min.

Jelly Pong Pong Lip Blush- Cranberry: How I love a good lip product. The name is asinine and I would never refer to it as "Jelly Pong Pong." I just cannot see myself busting that one out with a straight face. Besides the lame name, this Lip "Blush," is pretty fantastic. Smooth, almost matte texture of a rather pink lip product has me pleasantly surprised. I would never have picked this color out for myself, but again Glossybox knows best. Apply (not liberally, like suggested) and tightly press your lips together to achieve maximum sexiness.

ModelCo Eyeshadow Duo- Bronzed Goddess: I was surprised to receive an eye shadow, instead of the featured nail color. Maybe, I'm just a lucky girl. ModelCo has far exceeded my expectations for an eye shadow. The colors are universally flattering, pleasantly pigmented and have the perfect amount of glitter in them. Some shadows have more glitter than a unicorn, but ModelCo has found the perfect amount. I am thrilled with this product and will not actually break it open and add it to my Z-palette.

Sue Devitt Triple C-Weed Pressed Poweder- Quiet and Still: I understand that I'm "Snow White pale," but that doesn't make me "quiet and still." Oh, bitch if I must...Apparently, Sue Devitt went out of business months prior and the remaining products are available for sale. So, grand scheme...fall in love with a product that will not be available for purchase later. So, of course I like this powder...joke's on me!

Added Bonus: Guess Jean makeup pouch...I don't care for promotionally branded items, but the gesture is sweet.

Overall, I love Glossybox and trust their opinions on what's hot in the realm of beauty. All full-size products, I can't complain. As for my "Bohemian Summer," well I'm waiting for my Winter Wonderland.

Blush Mystery Beauty Box: August 2013 Review

Sweet photo skills of Jzim



This is my first Blush Mystery Beauty Box and I can't rave enough about it. If my incredibly talented photo-skills, using my iPhone 4 (not 4s) hasn't won you over, then let my epic descriptive talent do the work.

For 24.95 you are sent a plethora of high-end beauty products, promised to be valued at over $100. My box was shipped the same day I purchased and I received it in 3 days. So, we know that bitching about shipping...won't be Blush Mystery Beauty Box's issue. Since I am new to this box, I won't break down my post into "Reasons to Bitch." I'll need to do a little more investigating before I start cracking the whip.

The line-up is as follows:

Philip B. Maui Wowie Beach Mist: Unbelievable. The scent was created by angels, for one and the product itself is something Aphrodite would use. The mist creates a non-sticky texture and truly volumizes the hair. This mist is phenomenal on dry or wet hair. My preferred look was on dry hair, but I look just as sexy with it spritzed on my wet hair. This product gives me all of the benefits of the classic "beach hair," without having to actually go outside. "Omg, did you get back from the beach? No, absolutely not...I came from the shower."

Mor Emporium Hand Cream: Snow Gardenia- First off, the packaging was gorgeous: Black, gold and ritzy. The scent was girly and fresh and the texture was smooth. This lotion far exceeded my "eh, feeling," specially reserved for moisturizing products.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Lash Genius Waterproof Topcoat- This product is such a brilliant idea. We all have our favorite mascara and sometimes may wish it was waterproof. Anastasia Beverly Hills solved all of our troubles. I don't always want to rip my lashes off of my lids because my mascara for running errands was waterproof, but now...I have that option.

Skylark Memoir Fragrance Collection- Not every bag contained this item, luckily mine did. Each set contains 3 roller balls of 1 soon to be new full-sized fragrance. Rollerball perfume is such a luxurious experience and one I cannot live without.

Eminence Strawberry Rhubarb Dermafoliant- Organics! I don't really follow the "Organic" trend, but I do appreciate the concept of "Back to Nature." This product has a great scent and leaves the skin feeling clean. I don't know if it will clean the pores like it's supposed to, but a girl can dream.

Coola SPF 30 Face Classic-Sunscreen: Cucumber- It's sunscreen and it has been scent by virtually every sub-box out there. No complaints from me...other than it doesn't work, if you don't wear it. Stupid people probably needed me to explain this. I know...I was outraged when I discovered this and got sunburnt, too.

Colorescience Sunforgettable Face Primer SPF 30- Primers are a great and often overlooked beauty step. I have yet to try this pricy primer, but I'm sure it will be wonderful.

Pixi Beauty Endless Silky Eye Pen; No.5 Deep Plum: Smooth, creamy, pigmented and long-lasting. This is what an eyeliner is supposed to be and Pixie hit the mark on this one. I am in love. A self-obsessed UD lover, well...luckily there is enough room in my heart to include this liner. Such a complimentary color.

The verdict: Impressive. Everyone likes to compare sub boxes (which makes zero sense), but Blush Mystery Beauty Box...well I think it stole my heart.

September, please?

Ipsy: August 2013 Reivew

Sweet Photo skills of Jzim

 

Welcome to Glamour Academy...Ipsy's August Theme.

 

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards

 

Per the usual, I'm pretty thrilled with this bag. For 10.00...who can complain? Oh, wait...everybody can complain, about ANYTHING, and they DO. Well, I want to be apart of the party...so here goes.

 

Urban Decay Revolutionary Lipstick: Anarchy- This is by far, the BEST lipstick that I have ever used. In general, I am a huge UD fan, but who isn't? This is a highly-pigmented lipstick that last for hours. HOURS! I mean you can do almost anything with your mouth and your lipstick won't budge. I know that I can appreciate that. Plus, this lipstick makes me feel sexy...I can't wait to collect them all.

 

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I didn't get the color that I wanted!"
• "I was actually one of the people that wanted the chap stick." (Which smells great, btw.)
• "I'm not too smart and actually expected the full-sized lipstick!
• "It's too bold and I am a professional woman!"
• "I didn't get it." (And this really does suck...something as "prized" as this, really should have been included into everyone's bag.)

Pixie Beauty Lash Booster Mascara: Blackest Black- I feel like Pixie Beauty is finally busting out on the beauty scene with an epic vengeance! I love Pixie...the products are so well made and they flatter everybody. This mini-mascara is the perfect size to stick in your clutch for when you go out dancing with the girls.

 

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I don't use mascara!"
• "I wanted a different color..."
• "I only wear waterproof, because I cry a lot."

Mica Beauty Eye shadow: Bronze- I received this shadow in the Earth color in a previous bag. Normally, I don't like loose shadows, but I have used my Earth color almost everyday. I have never heard of Mica, prior to Ipsy sending out the black Gel Liner...but now, well...I couldn't imagine a life without it.

 

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I don't know how to apply loose shadow."
• "Bronze! This is only currently on trend...but I still don't like it!"
• "It's too messy and I don't clean...ever..."

Michael Todd Jojoba Charcoal Scrub- Ipsy sent out such a generous size of this product! I have yet to try it, because I'm still using up all my other scrubs. I have a real problem with multiple open containers of similar products. So far, I like the packaging.

 

Reasons to Bitch:

• "My skin is just too sensitive!"
• "I don't know how to pronounce, "Jojoba," and that angers me.
• "I REALLY wanted the pumpkin mask!" (Idea! Buy it?)

Chella Dazzling Dark Brown Eyebrow Pencil- Eyebrow pencils aren't something I normally play with. Brow Gel, that's my thing...but pencils, well not just yet. I'll probably mess around with this, but my brows are so thin and refuse to grow to my hearts desire...maybe it's a sign. I'll draw those bitches on.

 

Reasons to Bitch:

• "I don't know how to use this." (Me, neither.)
• "I have caveman eyebrows already!"
• "I received a color opposite of my brows." (Use it for an eyeliner)

In conclusion: Glamour Academy was a HUGE success for me. Update your style quiz every month...and hopefully you will fall in love with your bag like I did. In addition to the incredible products I received, I must say that the makeup bag was adorable and well crafted.

 

 Clickity-click-click SIGN UP & BITCH

 



Birchbox Bitching: August 2013

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim

 

Birch-y-box just arrived! For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards.

The August theme is "Finishing School." I did not understand the theme was concurrent with "Prep School or Cotillion Classes." I thought it was like, "Hey, I'm Finishing School!" It wasn't until I read the added literature that I understood the theme. I can't be the only one...

 

Tan Towel- A Birchbox Beauty Extra, I like the idea of this, but I'm whiter than a ghost, so it would take more than 1 Tan Towel to fix me up. I'll still get the bright idea that this will, in fact make me a bronze goddess and use it...most likely before a big event where all my friends will be.

 

Reasons to Bitch

• "Only 1 Tan Towel! I expected a whole box of them!"
• "I'm already tan...what can I do with this?"
• I only like to tan with natural sun light...not with chemicals!"
• The packaging tells me to "Look Good Naked," bitch please...have you seen me! I'm already there.

Dr. Jart+ Beauty Balm- I haven't met a BB Cream that I haven't loved. The color matches perfectly and the finish is matte and oil-free.

 

Reasons to Bitch

• "The color doesn't match my skin, perfectly! (You probably don't even know what you need)"
• "I expected more than a 7-day "trial."
• "My skin is super sensitive and I'm way too much of a puss to try this."
• "Beauty Balm? I thought that was a lip balm. Hook and bate, BB!"

Modelco Party Proof Lipstick (Disco Fever)- I am a lipstick whore. I can't get enough of the color-infused, glam-tubes. (Mine came broken, but the fabulous customer service at BB is shipping me a new one)

 

Reason to Bitch

• "The color! Wah, wah the color! Disco Fever? More like Ugly Fever."
• "Party Proof? Nobody invites me to any parties. Now I'm even sadder."
• "I don't wear lipstick...and I'm angry that you tried to make my attractive."

Lumiere d'hiver Super Comb and Protect- Leave-in conditioner is my hair's only saving grace. Without leave-in conditioners, I'd most likely pull a crazed Britney Spears and shave my hair off. I love the scent of this product. It has a masculine-type scent and nothing close to Vanilla. The sample size is quite nice, too.

 

Reasons to Bitch

• "My pump-spray won't work, because I didn't prime it enough."
• "I only use Argon Oils from exotic countries, not leave-in conditioners."
• "I don't like the scent." I prefer Vanilla."
• "The packaging is colorless. I'm a cheery kind of girl and this just won't do." 

Jasmine Seven Fresh Feet Wipes- Feet wipes! This is a good idea, but it's a bit pretentious. My friends already think I'm fussy, because the outdoors scare me; so I think it'll be great to bust out these wipes and use them in their company.

 

Reasons to Bitch

• "I use my vagina wipes for a whole-body tune up. I'm already covered, Jasmine."
• "I'm anti-flip flops, so my feet never get dirty."
• The peppermint scent burns my delicate little tootsies. Wah.
• "I didn't know that I couldn't use these on my face and now my eyes are swollen. Lawyer Up, BB."

What can I say? I love Birchbox. I find all kinds of sweet products that I never knew existed. After this box, I'm officially ready to "Finish School."

Clickity-click-click SIGN UP & BITCH

 

Popsugar Must Have: August 2013 Review

 

 Pop Sugar arrived and I am quite pleased with it all. For each product you will see my own opinion (which is the most important, I know and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards." In case you want to join in the bitch-fest, feel free to use one of my reasons.

Grojana-Griffen, Pop Sugar Anniversary Necklace- This necklace is cute and dainty. I personally like bigger things ;) but this is just fine. Pop Sugar kind of threw it in there to celebrate their one year anniversary which was LAST month; but all of the incessant bitching on message boards about the lack of anything anniversary related kind of prompted this necklace to be in the box. So, thanks for bitching, bitches.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I hate gold!"
• "We never get anything silver!"
•  "It's too dainty," (Last month the necklace was "too big")
•  "I don't wear necklaces."
• "I thought the chain length would be longer."  

Nature Box Apple Chips- Amazing! I am not the "Organic Type," but I could at least pretend to be with these. 

Reasons to Bitch

• "I don't LIKE apples!"
• "Ew, dehydrated?"
• "These apples are from another Sub-box!" WAH!
• "I'm allergic to apples." Well I'm allergic to Pepto Bismal, and I'll be disappointed too, when they send that.

Bentgo Lunch Box- So neat. I received the purple one, which is incredible, because I adore that color. It is very on trend and well thought out. Embarrassingly enough, I had to read the instructional manual, because I didn't understand how to fit the plastic ware back in the box, but I learned!

Reasons to Bitch

• "I can find theses ANYWHERE. I only like products from rare and exotic places around the world."
• "I already have a lunch box!"
•  "I don't pack a lunch; I'm anit-lunch."
• "Where's the handle? I'm too stupid to figure out how to carry this." 
• "Omg, the color I received makes me want to die a thousand deaths."

Weekly To-Do Maybook, Planner- I think Planners are a great idea, but for me, it kind of increases my anxiety. If I accidently scribble in it or something like that, I deem it unworthy and have to rip out the page. I'll try to use this planner, because it's super-cute, but I'll have to calm my OCD tendencies down first.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I don't use planners!"
• "Pointless, because I'm illiterate."
• "I always lose my planner."
• "I hate the design."

Dermalogica Facial Wash and Pre-wash- I receive so many face washes where I'm not even phased by them. I'm not really big into cleansers, because I always have to take a benedryl from using them. Once my sunburn from hell goes away I'll give this a go.

Reasons to Bitch

• "Um, hello...sensitive skin."
• "I only use one kind of cleanser and I'm too much of a twat face to branch out and try other things."
• "These bottles are too small!"
• "I can find this brand at TJ Max (I read this from a blog somewhere) and I don't like that!"

Lunares Apple Dish- My absolute favorite! The dish is so well made and absolutely adorable. The depth of the bowl is quite deep and is perfect on my vanity in my beauty room. It's perfect for bobby pins, hair bands and the lip gloss that you will take with you when you're all done. Huge win!

Reasons to bitch

• "What am I going to do with just one bowl?"
• "You really need an apple-themed kitchen for this to be of any use."
• "And again, I hate apples!"
• "What am I, a school teacher?!"

Lulah- Body Wash- I was so worried that I'd get the Vanilla-fig scent body wash (and yes, I know that I heavily criticize others for being like this, but I don't think you understand my pure hatred of Vanilla scents. Well rest-assured, I received the Magnolia-fruit wash and it is lovely.

Reasons to Bitch

• "I received a scent that I hate" (This is only okay, if you actually did receive the Vanilla death.)
•  "I have so many body washes."
• "I don't use body wash."
•  "Sensitive skin, over here! 

Overall, a great box for me. I'm sure that this box has royally upset some people, but here's some advice, shut the hell up. Love, BBB.

BITCH WITH ME! Sign up & Bitch

 



Message Board Meanies

I like to lurk in the shadows of message boards instead of actively participating in the thread. My reason for doing so is the simple fact that I am looking for information and not a petty dispute with some bitch with internet balls.

Message boards are like the mean-girl clique in high school. You can easily identify your "key players," and all the others are sheep. It wasn't until years later, that I myself was actually referred to as a mean girl. It's with this experience that I am able to see and appreciate both sides of the spectrum and go forth to create a blog such as this.

Continuing on, message boards are a breeding pool of pathetic, life-sucking leeches. Whether you are looking for beauty advice, recipes, video games or Dungeon and Dragons loser-y-ness (and ladies, Nerds are ridiculously sexy) you should be treated with semi-respect.

Some people go as far as to verbally attack another, solely based on the fact that she kindly suggested advice or asked a question that was "public knowledge." I was skimming through a popular message board today and there was a stupid, menial issue and 10+ women ganged up on her, calling her a bitch and whatnot. She didn't embrace the "B" word, like I have, and was truly upset. I, the lurker, found it increasingly difficult to gather the information that I was seeking. The offended woman, rightfully so, posted a lengthy rebuttal and genuinely stated that her day was ruined. I felt sadness for this woman, because she let some cliquish, A-holes, upset her. Some other girls attempted to stick up for her, but it became a "don't sit with the loser kid at lunch, because you then become a loser, yourself syndrome." All in all, if you're going to be a twat, don't hide behind a screen name and invite your nasty friends to join the bitch-fest.

Pop Sugar Must Have August 2013

NY Daily Times

1. Stackable Bento Lunch Box
2. Lulah Body Wash
3. Weekly Planner
4. Gorjana and Griffin Necklace
5. Lunares Apple-Shaped Snack Bowl
6. Sample-size Dermalogica face cleanser
7. Dried Granny Smith Apples

According to the online world of preemptive bitching, most ladies are psyched about the Bento Lunch Box and Weekly Planner. I am most excited about that little apple dish from Lunares. It will look gorgeous in my beauty room. Are any of these things "Must Haves?" Not for me...but I do think it's fun and that is what keeps me going. As for the Bento Lunch box...at least I'll look classy, until people see that there is just a PB&J in there. Lulah Body Wash will be fine as long as I don't get any Vanilla scent. It's just a preference thing, but Vanilla scents make want to cry. In fact, I did cry after receiving a vanilla lotion before. This hasn't happened since. Worst 22nd birthday. All in all, this box is what I expected. Silly, random things that I don't need, but want.

Sample Society: August 2013 Review

Sweet photo skills of jzim

Dr. Hauschka Skin Care Cleansing Cream- The texture and consistency of this “Cleansing Cream,” was like the batter of an oatmeal cookie. In fact, it kind of smelled like one; unfortunately, it was more like an organic oatmeal cookie. No dice.                   

                

Elemental Herbology Cell Plumping -Facial Hydrator, Honestly, I’m still afraid to try this. I’m not sure if I should just take a Benadryl and have at it…or just wait until a friend of mine comes over and sucker them into it.  
 

Jane Iredale Lash Conditioner- I used this as a lash primer before applying my mascara. There was not a noticeable, “Omg, look at her lashes effect.” The sample size is way too small to conclude anything more than, “never going to buy this. Sorry Jane Iredale. 

• Update: This product is amazing. Apply to lashes first, let dry and then swipe on 2 coats of mascara. Jane Iredale Lash Conditioner separates lashes so there is absolutely no clumping. My mascara lasts all day and looks so much better than it ever has before. Jane, I apologize.                               

Korres Cherry Lip Gloss- Buff is easily the best gloss and color that I have ever tried. Sadly, I am extremely addicted to lip products that my lips no longer produce the moisture that it needs. This sample is just that, a sample. Small enough to love, but not enough to last a lip gloss junkie.

                         

Dr. T's Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum SPF 30 SS- I really try to avoid the outdoors at all cost. Unless drinking is involved, I’m an indoor kind of gal. This was the only product in the box that was decent sized…but it’s sunscreen. It works fine and is non-greasy, but how many more sub boxes are going to send this out. Supergoop! products in sub boxes are like fruit cakes at Christmas. End the madness.
  

Glossybox Goodness: August 2013

Sneak Peek numero uno has been released. Let's check it out and then think of things we can complain about!


ripped from my Glossybox email



Reasons to complain:

- "I don't wear lip color." (Which you should)
- More pinks! That's all we ever get is pink (This complaint changes based on color sent)
- How do you sharpen it? Do I twist it? (This one gets everyone...life IS hard)
-Jelly Pong Pong? Is this a sex lubricant? (I know...could be ;)
-An 18 dollar value? Well I wouldn't pay 1.00. (Well, I would...so stick that in your back pocket)

“Grateful” vs. “Hateful”

Grateful Subscribers: These are the type of women who take extreme offense when others verbally attack a company and criticize what products they will be receiving. Grateful Subscribers often tell the Hateful Subscibers to “Stop complaining and just be thankful. Many others, potentially thousands are dying to get off the wait list, at least you can be is appreciative.”

 
Hateful Subscribers: These are the type of women that hate, criticize and attack everything. They relentlessly and tirelessly find new and nasty ways to insult a product, company and others. Most of the hating in done based on spoilers alone. Hateful Subscribers often resort to the “Ever heard of freedom of speech, and “DON’T you DARE tell me how to spend my ten dollars! If I want to throw a publically displayed, bitch-fit, that’s MY prerogative.”  

 
Now, ladies, ladies and possible gentleman…let’s focus group this bitch. First off, I’d like to thank you for filling some of my free-time with your catty-chit-chat.  It is quite amusing and amazing blog inspiration. I do have the answer though…one we can all agree on. Grateful Subscribers, shut up. Hateful Subscribers, shut up. There, now we’re all unhappy.

 
Lesson: If you don’t have anything nice to say (again, your freedom to still be a biznitch) then don’t say anything at all.

Sample Society: August 2013

August 2, 2013: Scheduled to arrive today. Impressive shipping time

August 1, 2013: Nothing makes my heart happier than seeing a shipping confirmation in my inbox. Sample Society has finally lived up to their "We ship on the 1st of the month," promise. Plus 1 for SS. What I enjoy most about SS is that you can immediately see what you're receiving in your box. Birchbox has this same concept, but you have to wait until the 10th...11th or whenever BB can get their website going to view your treasures.

Here is what I am to expect in my Sample Society Box:

Dr. Hauschka Skin Care Cleansing Cream-Deluxe Sample-SS                  

                

  Elemental Herbology Cell Plumping -Facial Hydrator SPF 8-0.5 oz.-SS                 

  Jane Iredale Lash Conditioner-SS                               

 

  Korres Cherry Lip Gloss-11 Buff Deluxe Sample-SS    

                              

      Dr. T's Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum SPF 30 SS

Again, I completely copied and pasted the contents of my box straight from the Sample Society Page. Thanks!

 

I am excited to try these products...as I always am. Do my eyelashes need conditioned...maybe? Lip Gloss...who can complain about Lip Gloss, well everyone...but not me. I love it more than a fat kid loves cake. Actually, cake and Lip Gloss is pretty much what makes my life, but I digress. Supergoop! I get this in every box. Am I excited? Not really. Will I use it? Sure...but I only go outside like 1 day a year. The problem with the outside is that it's actually outside. I know! I can't get enough of packaging and Sample Society does this quite well. As for the Elemental Herbology Cell Plumping Facial Hydrator...well that sounds like it's going to hurt.

 

Cost: 15.00

 

Value: To Be Determined

 

Worth: So far so good