Monday, January 6, 2014

Glossybox: December 2013

Sweet Photo Skills of Jzim
Glossybox, why! Why, why, why! Somebody out there loved their box, but it certainly wasn't me. The products for this month were quite anti-climatic and well, no girl enjoys that. Onto the review:

For each product you will see my own opinion and underneath that you will see "Reasons to Bitch." Reasons to Bitch is all inspired and generated from what others are bitching about on message boards.

Anatomicals: You Need A Blooming Shower!- Even if I enjoyed the horrendous scent of "panty-liner rose" I would still have an issue with the gaudy packaging and advertisement scheme. Nothing about this product worked for me. The scent, tacky colors and verbiage was an utter catastrophe. Who wants to take a shower and smell worse after it?

Reasons to Bitch
  • "I don't much care for floral scents and that is putting it nicely."
  • "Anatomicals is such a cheap line of skin care. How good can that be for me?"

Ardency Inn: PUNKER World's Baddest Eyeliner- The only gem in the box was the eyeliner, but I'm neither a 'punk,' nor 'badass,' so the marketing for this little liner is again, wasted. The liner is that of a black sharpie and works quite well. It lasts all day and well into those dark and dreary nights.  

Reasons to Bitch
  • "I like to pretend that I'm good at applying makeup, but cannot seem to use a liner correctly."
  • "I got this confused with my sharpie and now I'm all messed up." Permanently.

Michael Todd True Organics: Pumpkin Mask- Clearly printed on the bottle is a warning against use on sensitive skin. Well, that's cool. Unless, I wanted a super-fun rash that swells my eyes shut for days on end..I think I'll pass.

Reasons to Bitch
  • "Michael Todd tried to kill me with this product."
  • "I hate all forms of yeah, I'll smear that on my face."

Nails Inc. Victoria Polish- As for an international nail polish, I am fairly pleased. Again, the visual of the bottle itself is lacking, but the polish and crimson color are decent. Overall, Nails Inc. offers a shiny, no-chip product.

Reasons to Bitch
  • "I'm one of those fussy people that complain about products not made in the USA."
  • "The rounded cap makes application quite difficult and my fine motor skills are weak."

Naobay: Oxygenating Cream Moisturizing- Lotion. Over-priced, Boring Lotion. If I'm going to pay for a lotion that costs over 20 dollars an ounce, I'd like to at least enjoy it. Out of all the competitors in the body care line, this one makes no sense.

Reasons to Bitch
  • "This lotion promises so many benefits, but I can't afford it to find out."
  • "Naobay is a natural and organic product...and I'm not one of those people."
Overall, this box was not curated for me. It's not that the products were 'bad,' they just were meant for someone else. Very sad ending for year 2k13.

Grade: D